And then the book turned into garbage. Metaphysical garbage. Well, maybe.
The title is “Making a Change”. On day 6, author Cheri Huber tells readers that “making a change” is not going to happen.
We have the ability to experience ourselves as separate from life. We can imagine that life could be or should be different form the way it is. We are conditioned to believe that we can control life (if you were the right person, you could make life be the way you want it to be, the way it SHOULD be). These are illusions, but we experience them as very REAL illusions. None of those beliefs is a problem except that, to the degree we believe them to be true, we suffer.
WTF. Cheri Huber, if controlling life is illusionary, what are we doing here? Why am I reading your book!? Why did you write a self-help book? Is the purpose of your book to demonstrate in real time that attempting to ‘make a change’ is self-defeating and futile?
Now, this could be simply definitional. She may think that the momentary you cannot control life, but that the you that meditates and makes decisions with long-term awareness in mind can. And, if so, I’m down with that. But she doesn’t say that and that’s a fairly big omission.
So, right now, I’m wondering if this “retreat” is an exercise in futility. If so, note: her solution will be a life of passive resignation, egalitarian value judgments, and unconditional love. No self. And that’s gross.
I will continue, however, as I do enjoy the process. I just hope I’m wrong about where this is going.
Thus far, I’ve been on task, meditating every morning. I should have no problem tomorrow morning, but that’s only because I’ve staying in tonight. Sunday morning will be another story as there’s a luau tomorrow night I will be in full effect for. Heheh, luau?! Yeah!
In terms of insights and/or awarenesses, I’ve become more aware of my inner voice, the “self-talk” as Huber puts it, that rationalizes putting off key, key steps to long-term goals that simply won’t actualize without their fulfillment. The larger the project, the more prominent the self-talk. Oh, the project is there–looming over my shoulders, reminding me every 15 minutes of its wretched presence that grows with every moment it is ignored–but my confused productive capacity allows me to substitute and escape into some less stressful task, some less haunting to-do, for the time being. Cause, hey, I’m still getting shit done! Right? Am I? No. So why, time and time again, do I do everything in my power to evade the larger task?
I have a genuine propensity towards action, to be doing something that appears productive–at least ostensibly. In reality, it’s a distraction. A better distraction than others perhaps, but still a distraction. Push through it.
Today’s assignment is to notice the interplay between attention and awareness throughout the day. I haven’t begun yet so I don’t have specifics examples or anecdotes to offer, but I do have some questions I’d like to preface the exercise with. Some mood-setting and the others experiential. Are you paying attention? Are you listening to me? Where is your mind? Where is your focus? Is daydreaming ever deliberate? If so, how often do you consciously decide to opt out of the immediate situation lying front of you? Do you eve say or think, “Eh, this isn’t exciting nor in my long-term interest, so instead I’m going to think about this other thing that means much more to me and, moreover, do it constructively”? Can you think constructively when there is something unrelated going on in front of you? And finally, did you, at any point while reading this post, think about something other than the words on the page or their meaning? If so, how many were mere tangents and how many were totally-foreign thoughts?
Did you meditate this morning? Yes. How did that happen? I woke up at 7am, the scheduled time to do so, but didn’t finally meditate until 15 minutes after due to a late phone call from my co-conspirator. Sure, I could have gotten up by myself. But then there was the zzzz and brrr!
What insights or awarenesses did you have today? Often times, I’ll find my self-discipline in check but act rushed and hasty instead of being aware and taking precautions.
Yesterday I decided the location of my daily meditation–couch–and today it’s length of time I’m committing–5 minutes. So get up at 7. Slum myself to the couch. Clear my mind for a hot five.
Next step: choose the particular issue “with which to practice compassionate self-discipline for the duration of this guided retreat”. Now, one of my immediate financial goals is to purchase a new computer with lots of RAM. But, reckless spending–mostly on bars and take-out–inhibits that. So I’ve decided to commit this month to writing down every single purchase on a spreadsheet categorized in columns like “bills”, “bars”, “food”, “transportation”, “entertainment”, etc. It’s a pretty helpful spreadsheet with functions already plugged in; ask me and I’ll send you a copy.
Interesting to note that, according to Huber, “It doesn’t matter what you choose. We are practicing with PROCESS, and the CONTENT is largely irrelevant.” That strikes me as quite right as it’s habituation that we’re aiming for, secure from the threats that immediacy brings. And that’s reflective of the structure involved. It’s not throwing a bunch of shit at the wall and seeing what sticks–that process, built on frustration, is chaotic and masturbatory. The process is slow and deliberate, tackling one issue at a time. It requires patience with yourself, patience with your mind. That’s why meditation–which seeks to discipline your thoughts–is involved. Meditation is not the end in-of-itself; it is not the object I am attempting to achieve. I don’t want to not think; I just want to think better. Exercise for the mind.
Last thing was to make a “commitment poster” and hang it “where you will see it first thing each morning.” So it goes on my desktop.
From the recommendation of a friend, I’ve decided to try out Cheri Huber’s 30-day “retreat” for personal growth/transformation. The writing is a bit childish and the font straight-up offensive, but in terms of content it appears pretty solid. So… join me for the next 30 days where I’ll wow you with what it takes to overcome Aristotlean incontinence.
Today’s assignment is to answer the following questions:
What does self-discipline mean to you? What is your history with self-discipline?
Self-discipline means sacrificing the immediate and focusing on steps required to meet real, long-term goals. Self-discipline requires awareness and engagement, and generally being a Nazi when it comes to exceptions and/or excuses. As my mother often asks me, “Is this in your highest interest?”.
My history with self-discipline started in early college, when I developed an affirming outlook on life. Prior to that, I didn’t much care about personal improvement. But after taking some philosophy courses and questioning a chaotic youthful theology and metaphysics, my psychology turned positive and the word “manifest” even became a slogan of sorts. Since then, it’s been a perpetual problem-area with bright spots finding their way here and there. Passivity in allowing others to define my calender appears to often edge out self-discipline. Granted, every now and then this going-with-the-flow generates totally-worth-it results. And I think it’s the potential that sells me. When I am able to focus on getting shit done though, I want to do everything all at once and invariably get nothing done. Building infastructure is key, something I don’t spend enough time on.
There’s a whole lot more to talk about, but that should get the ball rolling.
As for the blog, expect a different, broader direction, one that is more representative of myself. So… toning down on politics a couple notches, but upping music, culture, philosophy, and other personal interests.
In the following 53-minute video, Heritage’s Brian Riedl astutely debates Center for American Progress’ James Kvaal, taking the con position on Obama’s spending-stimulus plan.
Very impressive exchange overall – especially on the part of Riedl – and I really recommend watching it all, but, if you can’t, I found the most revealing section right at the beginning (1:19), where Riedl effectively deconstructs a regurgitated Keynesian tenent that, as Kvaal himself demonstrates, just won’t die.
Kvaal:
The problem that we have is that families are cutting back to just the necessities. So they’re reducing their spending. Businesses are then cutting back on their employees; they’re cutting back on their own investments. That leads to families pulling back more. So you have a vicious cycle where the economy is producing far less than it’s capable of producing. And what we need to do is aggressively step in now and cut off that vicious cycle. And the only actor capable of doing that is the government.
[...]
Reidl:
…The basis for that statement is that: consumer spending is down, therefore demand is down. But the whole concern about consumer spending assumes that consumer spending is the only spending in the economy. The result is: if I’m not consuming money, I’m saving it and if I’m saving it, I’m using it to pay down debt, or invest it, or put it in the bank. Well, that all gets spent too because banks lend out the money to other people to spend. When you pay down debt and when you invest it, that gets spent as well. So the idea that: if people aren’t spending money, they’re saving it – that somehow that’s leaking out of the economy and needs to be replenished by the government, I don’t agree with because people aren’t storing their savings in mattresses. They’re paying down debt, investing it, or giving it to banks who lend to others to spend.
Within the world of ethics, advocates of right & wrong will often cite the practice of female circumcision in order to demonstrate the bankruptcy of moral relativism.
With good reason. Female circumcision is a disgusting act – detestable, brutal, and monstrous – even by barbarian standards.
From today’s Washington Post, readers get an anecdote of the practice followed by the quote of a proud supporter, the latter revealing the intellectual origin of said evil.
Yeah… it’s called unconditional blind faith.
Sheelan Anwar Omer, a shy 7-year-old Kurdish girl, bounded into her neighbor’s house with an ear-to-ear smile, looking for the party her mother had promised.
There was no celebration. Instead, a local woman quickly locked a rusty red door behind Sheelan, who looked bewildered when her mother ordered the girl to remove her underpants. Sheelan began to whimper, then tremble, while the women pushed apart her legs and a midwife raised a stainless-steel razor blade in the air. “I do this in the name of Allah!” she intoned.
As the midwife sliced off part of Sheelan’s genitals, the girl let out a high-pitched wail heard throughout the neighborhood. As she carried the sobbing child back home, Sheelan’s mother smiled with pride.
“This is the practice of the Kurdish people for as long as anyone can remember,” said the mother, Aisha Hameed, 30, a housewife in this ethnically mixed town about 100 miles north of Baghdad. “We don’t know why we do it, but we will never stop because Islam and our elders require it.” [emphasis mine]
From the recommendation of a friend, I’ve decided to try out Cheri Huber’s 30-day “retreat” for personal growth/transformation. The writing is a bit childish and the font straight-up offensive, but in terms of content it appears pretty solid. So… join me for the next 30 days where I’ll wow you with what it takes to overcome Aristotlean incontinence.
